To My-dear-friend-from-secondary-school I apologise if I am about to ruin a story much loved by you.
I’ve been here for only 4 weeks and I’m pretty proud of myself to be able to settle in as quickly as I did. I have thanks to my dear-friend-from-secondary-school been introduced to Christian Grey. Who has, apparently dominated the heart of many women in the United Kingdom. My dear-friend-from-secondary-school had started the ear bashing about Christian long before I got here and once I got over here I brought the book. As yet I haven’t I got around to finishing the first one due to busy busy self but I have come to a few conclusions that I would share here on my very own blog.
Fifty Shades of Grey is actually fifty shades of women, if my word accounts for anything please do read on. I did my Dissertation research about women and sex and ethics among a particular group in a London society, and as it goes the attention given to this book not only supports it but it also contradicts it.
In the story Anastasia is a fickle character, that has only given in to one man at an suitable age (unrealistically), she is a shy blushing little girl in a women’s body that really needs to go out a bit more often. She also needs to stop calling her vagina her sex because my-much-loved-tall-friend-from-secondary-school is getting annoyed. When ‘independent women’ is the word on everyone’s tongue for the past 30 decades, it a bit weird that she left so behind. For the sake of the story we’ll allow it for now, so she then goes onto discover herself as a women through a man that has covered his personal issues better. He is a strong and influential character that has made money solely due to his character, so the book tells us. If man of such character existed I think he would be the real Casanova. Lets not forget this man has existed in fiction before disguised as Edward Lewis of Pretty Women, Edward Cullen of Twilight given that it was influence for the book in the first place and thousands of other characters like Batman and even Beast in Beauty and the Beast.
You can call me a feminist but I don’t like that these women in stories, especially those with a bigger female fan base, start off the weak broken women. I wonder if we read these books to praise ourselves and give us ourselves a silent pat on the back or is it that no matter how strong we are we still need the comfort of a physically and mentally stronger man.
Bear with me I’m not trying repeat book here..
Christian dotes on this girl, as fickle as she is he loves it. Even makes absurd comments like ‘your mine’ and ‘come for me Anastasia’. Furthermore she likes it, again the needy girl that wants to be loved. Christian pours money that he can spend as he desires on this woman, she complains but takes. Again she likes the protection. I can see how the books going to end, where its going and every other detail in between is just going to be a few lines added for our pleasure.
Don’t get me wrong I like the book, and aim to read through the tri-ology but still bitching about it is just as fun. But have you realised that we still read on knowing what’s going happen. There once a film with Jennifer Aniston, The Break-up, it was a good film but the ending was unusual compared to other love stories and they actually broke up. Their happy ending ended with the break-up of a perfectly loving relationship/friendship. The film never made it, the only attraction was Jennifer herself and the funny dude that played the other main role. We love a story that ends in happy ever after.
I hate to think that young girls at the dawn of finding out about the big wide world will believe this to be a norm. We all did at one time probably but still it’s a false illusion we all had to overcome.
I am still stating the obvious but bear with me…
But I’ll tell you something I love about the book, we women have brought Sex out of the forbidden, we have been doing it for years but with this kind of phenomenon we are sticking it into the faces of men. Men are calling it ‘mummy porn’ and so be it I tell them that I can bang it out on tube mate, while they still can’t bring out porn magazines. So it makes me proud that we women have for once belittled men and overtaken them when it comes down to bedroom depart. We ain’t just picking the beds no-more we are ruling in them!! (That’s my cockney side, and I’ve recently watched Made in Dagenham so it hasn’t really help me literacy skills)
La-di-da, I’ll come to my point, other then the ones I’ve already made. We women feared sex, as we have been told to do so over the past so many years by our mothers, our ancestors, our men and even our religions. We have become very independent in work, in households (praising single mothers here), in the media, politics, in medicine, and everything else. We have touched the many areas that the men thought they were dominant in except we never really touched the bedroom. Very few have contradicted this rule. For our love of submission, because our emotional side has always yearned it and we still let men do a mans job in bed. Till now.
In my dissertation, it showed that we women became so fickle when talking about Sex and desire that we shied from the very idea. Women needed protection, comfort and support and those women that could through all of time take control of their own desire and pleasure become those that could make a change.
Yes I’m bringing a woman’s personality right down to the bedroom. She who knows what she wants [in the bedroom] is she who is successful.
We never had the option before; we were lost between power trips, weakness and pleasuring another, and on top of it all emotionally fulfilling ourselves. This statement if you ask me will take us right back to the suffragettes, they wanted and got it but I bet you any money it was at the cost of their sex lives.
Firstly this book has ideally shown women that sex is powerful, and that’s how men have been doing it for years. Secondly that Christian Grey is actually very submissive in every area other then bedroom. I’ll keep that comment in the grey area and let every women judge their own man.
This book shows us that we actually can overcome cultural barriers, and that’s what my dissertation was about. I have read and spoken to many women from an anthropological and sociological background that absorbed words like equality and suppressed women, the gender differences and stereotypes when talking about women, but none of those writings got to anyone. Nothing got to the public, exactly like my dissertation no matter how valid my points were it still till this day sits on my shelf and it never got far enough to be read by anyone other then the marker.
So hats off to E. L. James, she got to more women then any sociologist, anthropologist and any other academic and made a valid and ground-shacking point. She wrote her way to millions of women.
So My-dear-friend-from-secondary-school I apologise again..