Here stands a proud thief.

[Please note that these are the spoken words of a Turkish Women and all that is motioned below belong to the Turkish culture unless otherwise stated. The stand-up dude is only a reference]

Lazed back on another boring day waiting for work start, I was watching the totally Turkish but all to famous Cem Yilmaz. Most certainly one of the best Turkish comedians and his trick is to be all too honest.

He throws it at people, he calls the meaty big-boned people fat, he calls tall freakish attractive women lanky, he calls the working class poor, and he calls politicians liars and pointlessly rich bastards – well ok not bastards, I call them bastards but you know what I mean. Then the audience (me included) laugh like we are meant to laugh at his totally unethical jokes and to top it off he tells we are sheep that laugh when are told to… and then we laugh again.

We laugh at our own imperfections, cultural faults, and poverties.

So we must all take our hats off to him and applaud because if we said what he says on a bus full of people we probably wouldn’t be able to get off.

Thinking about the correct-ivity of all his work, I remembered something else that he had mentioned before on one of his other stand-ups. He spoke about how [Turkish] women are designed to lie. Throughout all my life I have been subject to questioning by my parents, and not just in a parently caring way. It just means I have to have a valid reason that certifies me permission by THEM to do what I want to do. Hence that means I will only correct their mistakes and repeat their lives because I will scarcely be allowed to make my own mistakes or life.

This Cem dude talks about how little boys in our culture have been swinging their pipi’s about while us girls have been wrapping it up to hide it from peering eyes. Don’t get me wrong Turks are modern and open with quite a bit of female freedom but nevertheless the all to obvious segregation of male and female openness makes men and women doing the same things have a slightly different approach of doing it.

Cem mentions how ladies of our culture are pre-trained in lying, now how can I disagree I have been spending the last 4 weeks tip-toeing around my father trying to hide the fact that I have a boyfriend. My reasons of lying are not because I not allowed to have one or that my culture doesn’t allow it but its because of the to-god-damn many questions I will have to answer about him. Bringing me right back to my first point about having to get consent, certifying me to have a relationship with this man. But Cem says I was trained young (which I was), whereas I say I set myself up protective barriers to lead the life I want. Whom I’m protecting is another question, some will say myself, I however will say my parents.

This stand-up guy is pretty good, even though he never once mentioned his own views on it but he pointed out something that is spoken little of publicly. To top it off he made us laugh.

So la di da, we women are liars for the right reasons. We lie to even with our male peers, and lie to have free will. I lie to make mistakes that only I want to take the pleasure in making and I lie to protect my parents. I have been told that lying is one of the worst things you can do but how can someone blame me for lying.

Whenever my dad used to react when I did things without him knowing or permitting me to do he used to think I took joy in tipping him over the edge. I however never got the chance to explain to him that freedom is not gift given only to those who are obedient. Nor that his question; ‘enough, how much more freedom do you want?’ was never answered because unless someone feels free they will never to stop till they find it.

Cem was right, I am a trained liar but I honestly stand behind every lie that passed my lips. You may even call me thief as my beautiful culture almost always subjects me to steal my freedom of speech, love, desire and passion back from those who want to hold it needlessly.


About An Addled Moment

I came to Istanbul to discover not only this beautiful city and its nightlife but I’m also here to discover me.
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