I’m getting in the realm of domestication. I feel domesticated, my mother will never believe it neither would my father. Neither would anyone else to be honest. I spent the last week at home, I spent the weekend at my boyfriends… Ahh I lie I did have a mid-week coffee with friends.
I’m actually enjoying being domesticated, but I’m not at the same time. The last time I tried going out I got bored. I wasn’t drunk enough to join in and my bed kept calling. The ‘kids’ -youthful middle aged men and women of the city were having a blasssst of a time. I was trying to entertain myself by bobbing from left to right. The irony here is I’m generally the one moviinng and grovinnng and whinnning and dancing. I preferred setting my backside on an uncomfortably tall stall. You know those stalls are never made for women, the tallest man is always kept in mind in the making of them.
My feet hurt, my head hurt and my eyes hurt from all the atrocious behaviour and badly dressed girls. Bad as in too short, and too much cleavage. The fake energy provided through the vibe of the venue, the alcohol in the blood stream and exaggerated human interaction.
I don’t know why but in a nightclub the throw-your-head-back laugh thing women do is everywhere. Is it a ‘I’m-having-so-much-fun’ or ‘I-like-him-his-jokes-are-funnier-‘ or just sleep deprivation?
Domesticated people however do it differently. They place themselves in a corner of the gaff, and watch. Generally with a drink in their hand and sometimes its just a soft-drink. And then there are the people who have been forced to go out. The ‘Please don’t make me dance’, the wishful ‘I really should have worn something else’ (because they didn’t get ready wholeheartedly) and the most classic ‘I think I’m getting older’ is evident.
See through the ‘bored’ stages of our lives we tend to assume its related to how old we feel. I for instance feel about 37 at the moment. I’m going for jogs, catching on the news, reading and I’m not rushing to get somewhere all the time.
So you see I’m just jealous, I know I’m young but I just don’t feel youthful enough to join the crowd. Once my little stage is over and winter really kicks in, I’m hoping to get my youth back. For now I’m just going to continue reading Great Expectation and sulk.