I have spoken about forgiveness a few times, yet it still proves to be difficult. I understand the concept and I believe it too but it still doesn’t make it easier. Over the past few days I have been doing my daily ritual of ‘I forgive myself’ and ‘I forgive such and such’ yet believing it is proving slightly harder. I’m going to carry on though because I do believe in the system of pain brings pleasure, experience is virtue and knowledge and nothing easy is worth having. Tomorrow morning I’m going to do them again.
My little rituals is something a work mentor taught me, she said that was the base line for confidence and to be able to accept oneself. One has to love their own individual ways and the only way to love oneself one has to accept and forgive their mistakes and faults. The other thing she told me was to hug myself… but I’ll go into that another day as it is a long topic and requires more of an in-depth explanation Nevertheless the ‘I forgive myself’ part hush’s the lonesome conversations one can have with oneself about being lonely.
Rough patches don’t treat me nicely, but I recognising it, letting it work to my advantage. I seem to function well irrationally when I know I’m functioning irrationally. So I’ve set up the system, I now just got to jump the next stage and maybe in a few years I’ll master the rough-patch-stage before I even get there.
So I’ll blast through the shit stuff and get to the I-lived-now-I-know-stage. For now I will stick to ‘I forgive me’ to help the time pass.