To re-instate my old passion and my love for life, I went on a little trip last weekend. I left for London on Friday evening after a spontaneous decision after work. By the time I went booked my ticket, dressed, packed and left for the airport I was excited and tense. That all took a mere 2 hours and I was all set for the journey.
Though my mind was full of undesirable thoughts about work, love and my soul as I paid the taxi driver way too much money jumping off at the airport. He was a measly bastard that tried to con me by doing a couple of round trips on the motorway.
My first major excitement was to hear a full British accent when we set down at Stansted Airport. It still amazes me how you become a radar to known noises, slang and accents. I speak English daily at work, but nothing replaces the ring of a British accent.
After the traditional misunderstanding about timing, my father picked me up 30mins after the time we arranged. It was lovely seeing him, and we both knew we would have the perfect dose of 2 days together. He having being left alone in the country to himself far too long appreciated the company. Whereas I not left alone for a moment by many, many different people appreciated the idea of an undistracted conversation. So again long after childhood I found peace in the presence of my father.
My father is certainly not a man of few words, neither is he one to obtain a thought for longer then 20mins. So can you imagine the spiral of conversations we had on our journey home. I hold this man dear to my heart yet my biggest fear in life is to be like him (best intentions at heart while I say this), so sitting there in a familiar conversation with a familiar soul and on the right side road (the left side) I went home.
I ran from London to Istanbul in order to find a release from the familiar. Yet I had to go all the way back there to touch base and feel like myself again. When I went back everything and everyone I needed was still there just the way I wanted, again the dose of people I saw was delicious.
Most of my nights were typical, I went for drinks or spent it with my family, I soared inside because I missed their presence in my everyday life, yet loved that I got them all to myself when I had. Just seeing their beautiful faces was an exquisite feeling.
Just another random thought: as we change, I like that we aren’t changing away from each other, or not that much anyway. I’m not the same and person neither are they, they are either growing-up or growing old but either way we are changing and it is by far nice to still be there.
After seeing my partner-in-crime, my twenty-pence-nose, my friend-from-many-years-ago, my clumsy cousin and her even clumsier sister I was brought back to the airport in the same fashion as I was picked up. But one of the clumsy sisters was there, and she finalised a lovely weekend.
As my father pulled up to the drop off bay, she jumped out to pay the small parking fee; I waited about so I can get a rib-to-rib hug from someone before I left. We hugged and I stopped, I couldn’t turn around to walk off. We had both watered up, for one hundred and one reasons and most importantly I didn’t want go back into the void, where I missed all my friends. I kissed her again and turned around, went straight to check-in.
On this little trip I remembered the feelings needed to have and forgot those that needed to be forgotten. I discussed things that I really couldn’t discuss with the people around me here. They were either too close to home or too far.
I spontaneously booked this ticket with no thought other then to escape from my escape yet it brought me back to me and brought my dear friends closer.