The One Man Island of Many Turkish Men

My dear loved other half seems to be bit too much of a worrier… something I’ve never considered him to be before. The man does have his responsibilities and to be honest I don’t deny the severity of them but a man has to chill once in a while. And hey no man is an island, I had to remind him so too. So my very Turkish and very resourceful partner needs to chill as otherwise his inner ‘Lout’ pops right out of him.

Turkish men: There is a notion among the Turkish society about Turkish men. In Turkish we call them logs, planks of wood, the lout itself even. They are known to be insensitive, lazy and greedy. The woman in their life must only feed them and is only considered a replacement mother. For these stupid, numb headed twats, as long as they have the wife they are secure and honest, and the rest of all women to be at their sexual disposable. Dim witted bastards if you ask me.

So the other end of this ‘Turkish man’ (we shall call them The Louts) is the ‘Turkish Gentlemen.’ The Louts tend think that these men are feeble, at the mercy of their wives, even disposable by their wives; they think these gentlemen to be stupid and dim. Silly louts. They tend to think these men have no penises and can’t pleasure (!!) their wives which is the reason their wives are not tamed housewives (!!). That is a common notion among the divs of Turkey.

May I add that I have actually heard these comments from men themselves.

Eventually these silly Louts through unkind words and silly mannerisms try to turn The Gentlemen into a lout, a beast and vicious man. So even The Gentlemen are pressured to turn into unsanitized Louts. It’s a vicious cycle I must add.

From a totally different perspective, there are the ‘I-Have-Seen –Europe’ kind of Turkish man, who tries to give their girl a bit of space (I shall define space), who tries to be ‘Avrupa-i’ should I say with a gist of (genetic not aesthetic ) blond in his hair, lazered back and crack wearing slim cut shirts kind of man. You see them everywhere these days, the whole ‘Avrupa-i’ thing it is however misleading as you must always know there is still a Lout underneath all the hairless skin.

Space: To define space I first need to explain that it is limited and delusional. ‘I agree dear’ tends to mean ‘I don’t, but I’ll let you have your way until something goes wrong to prove me right’… It means you can wear whatever you like unless it makes you look so good that other men will look at you.’ It means ‘we can have wild sex until you bear a child and become a mother and because pleasurable things become un-motherly things.’ It means ‘work only if we need the money but a career is out of the question as you will be the mother of my children.’

Very conservative and dominant still, a load of complexities and many many ego battles.

I will bring it down a notch and be less aggressive towards the dim wits. There are of course exceptions but in general the notion of ‘Turkish Men’ (idiots)  do exist. It is diminishing in built up and urban areas where cultural infusion is less apparent but it is still there, even if moderately behind closed doors. Appearance and ‘Avrupa-i’ talk doesn’t always reflect itself in the actions of these men. But there are clear boundaries of ‘The Lout’ that they themselves are aware of, it is one they do not want to be a part of anymore. It is a slow but sure step in the right direction and the rest is up to the tedious steps of ‘The Turkish Girls,’ if they can make the most of it.

‘The Turkish Girls’ I will have to take time one day and tell you about these girls, or us girls, or girls… its complicated. It is even more complicated than the men.

So what I’m trying to say is these men enjoy totally denying the existence of women in any feasible way and consider women at their disposal. My ‘Lout’ is pretty much the same, though he is a bit ‘Avruap-i,’ his hairy. Though he is very individualistic and free spirited he (tries) to consider me. His my ‘Lout’ I guess and he worries about the things his responsible for. Me, a different type of the typical ‘Turkish Girl’ has not seen this before, she’s worried he might just be the right kind of ‘Lout’ for her as he certainly is a different type of typical ‘Lout.’

His main responsibilities take over the relationship most of time but this morning he got me to work on time, and got worried about being able to make it.

He drove me here in his white Chevrolet, just the right kind of romantic from a ‘Lout’ for a girl on foreign land.


About An Addled Moment

I came to Istanbul to discover not only this beautiful city and its nightlife but I’m also here to discover me.
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