For decades every discipline in the human sciences has looked at the difference of male and females, nature versus nurture. Among these different disciplines the most common and believed notion is that women represent nature and men represent nurture. If you think about it you can argue the contrary however you can see that this notion is true. In nearly all societies and cultures men and women have different attributes. Females are nature with their ability to recreate, they have the natural ability to feed a baby and have motherly intuitions. Men provide, they have the strength to protect and access to food (work).
A child would know the above probably; my blog will now specifically talk of the Turkish notions of Men and Women.
The other night after a mild mood swing and minor argument, huffing and puffing I wanted to leave my boyfriends house at about 1 in the morning. Regardless of how pointless of an argument I had the urge to be alone and in my territory rather then his, I also had a point to prove. Anyway, come be it I told him I was leaving, packed a few of my things to take home, he told me I was acting inappropriate, I was, albeit we had different reasons in mind. I was being a drama queen because he was careless and for him I was acting inappropriately as I, a women should not be on the streets on my own at that of night.
For the love of god, what am I to make of that? Please tell me. Should I boast and say his making excuses for me to stay? I wasn’t exactly getting on the night bus, I was getting a taxi home it couldn’t exactly because of his concern for me safety.
Then I sussed it (by asking many different questions of course), he doesn’t want people to shun me because I’m on my own late at night. It’s not appropriate you see, people can take you for a flirt or even a ‘paid soldier’ (a nickname for whores), as homemade homely girls would never have a reason to be on their own that late night. I tried telling him he was losing it, and that, that was very backward thinking. Which eventually got me thinking about stereotypes as realistically in a cab at that time of night I could only represent something he doesn’t want me or doesn’t think me to be. Bouncing home over the bridge bumpy roads in the back of the taxi I thought about stereotypes. How the Turks use them to define people and how those labels latch on to you. As the Turks ‘ Once you are label the ninth you can again be eight.’
So men and women simply do go by the rule of women-nature and men-nurture but there is hypocrisy and double standards. because a man can be all the negatives there could ever be it would not even scratch him, whereas a women can be one and be held to a life of mere torture and pressure and be shunned. We don’t kill people here about ‘indecencies’ but we do gossip about them.
We can slaughtering them their things they have not done, just because they fit the bill. This among Turks is a very common habit..
The below listed stereotypes are merely for relationship purposes, friend types are a different list completely.
For instance with girls; the marring low-key type, the loud type, the gold diggers, the jealous type, the 30+ looking for marriage type, the educated ready to marry type, ready to have children type, the engine (slag) type, the plastic fake type, the manipulative type that think they clever then all men type, the husband beater type, the ‘only for night-life’ type, the humble type, the rich girls and poor girls, the classy down town type, the individualistic type and many other similar types. Now the one thing common in all these types is that all of the above is anticipated as negativities.
And for men/boys they are; ‘the man’ type, the immature boy type, the rich boy type, the punker type, the ‘one-man-island’ type, the ‘model’ toy-boy type, the quite manly type, the loud funny type, the educated type, the playboy type, the ideal boyfriend type, the ‘I-get-along-with-girls’ type, the footballer type, the metro-sexual type, the fitness freak, the ‘esnaf’-local kid type, the business man, the marrying type, the American jock type, the poor but proud type, the angry and aggressive type, the ‘my-girl-has-to-do-what-I-say’ type, the marginal type and again many more similar types, you get the message.
Now these types are all negative from the marrying type (his boring) to the playboy type (he will never get married) just because people don’t want to be won over by the other gender.
I like to think I don’t fit any but trust me, will eventually be crowned with one.
There are war of genders. War of minds. War of power…