I Have British Blood Oozing In Me

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Maybe only a London Turk will fully ever understand this post…

This morning I woke up and had the urge to listen to folk music, god know what my neighbours are going to think.

I’m a single girl part living with my boyfriend, against marriage, and a fighter against prejudices of all kind listening to Turkish folk music that probably only remind them of their childhood.

I grew up waking up to this every Sunday throughout my childhood years. My parents missed their childhood in Turkey, hence, unknowingly they built it into mine.

As a foreigner in the UK we created a world so far away from what was real that we had a more out date version of ‘Turkish’ life.

I woke up to traditional folk tunes in the morning that people my age living here in Istanbul don’t understand or like. We held traditions so old that we become foreigners whenever we came back. Living in the UK we should have evolved in to more modern and individualistic. Being so traditional caused problems in the UK as it survival difficult, and here in Istanbul trying to be so ‘Avrupa-i’ it’s funny that we still have so backward thinking individuals in the UK, in London, one of the core cities of the world. A city that makes the world we live in.

Unlike many foreigners in the UK, our homeland was and had always been an evolved and modern country (corrupt but modernity existed), similar to Iran. Islam was never an excuse to set the country back, Ataturk had made sure of it. It was the individuals that set themselves back, it was the double standards of politicians that captivated individuals into false illusion. So we Turks of any descendant could be bigger and better if we let ourselves grow in time with the city we found amity in.

Our biggest stupidity was that we didn’t change, not soon enough anyway. It’s changing now but I give it a another full 40 years before lose all the harmful, and backward traditions and evolve to be individuals.

We, the London Turks are a breed confused between the modern and very old, held prisoner within our kind.

Don’t get me wrong, I hold my traditions very close to heart. I turn to our ways for advice, I turn to my father and his elders for advice but I have weight the viability of their ways in my way.

I stand alone as a woman in my culture, even though, I am praised by all, I am also a threat.

That’s the double standard I don’t like.

At least once a day I get asked why I moved back/here (‘back’ is the correct term, but seeing as I remember nothing ‘here’ is more realistic), from friends to taxi drivers, from shopkeepers to colleagues, from students to relatives. I tell them I love it here, which I do, but I think I had had enough of the cultural confusion. It didn’t help though because I now believe after a year and half that I have British blood oozing in me.

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About An Addled Moment

I came to Istanbul to discover not only this beautiful city and its nightlife but I’m also here to discover me.
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