Experiences You Forget to Mention at the Dinner Table

ImageWe all specify our limits and our bars for success and failure. We ordain our boundaries and analyse our improvements considering these limits. We use our judgements to compare ourselves with others and as a result the judgements we make of others eventually turn into the reanalysis of our limits and boundaries.

Having recently left my boring and tedious office job, I have now returned to the schooling environment with the start of the new academic year. In my first week, we started of with our ‘new-staff-training-session’ from the school psychologist. She taught us the do’s and don’ts to raising confident and happy children. True the nature of all psychologists she slipped in the psych tests on us. She analysed our childhood, our complexes and complexities.

I was apparently seeking approval. I could have told her that, if she had asked politely but I guess hearing it as clear as daylight and as directly as that, hit home. Still not sure if that was what I wanted to hear from someone I was going to spend the next year working with.

Anyway, back to my point. Within one of these sessions we were asked to list ten traits we would like our students to have when they are adults. Mine, as with others were directly linked to my experiences. They are; Independent, Analytical, Active, Practical, Brave, Relaxed, Understanding, Passionate, Observative and Fulfilled. I later came to consider my own limits and barriers and how over the years not only have I rated my success with these traits but I have also re-analysed and reconsidered my limits in comparison to them.

So when reanalysing, I do certainly believe myself to be independent but I also know I bent over backwards to become independent and free of influences. If I’m not analysing something I am most certainly either dead or not breathing. Considering how much I complain about being busy and no matter how many time the sofa calls me to itself, I always limit my rests as I believe there are loads to see to out there. Practical, as I believe faffing around is just such a waste of valuable time.

Brave, not as in the sword-fighting-hero-brave but a fearless and intuitive brave, where you won’t batter an eyelid at the fuck-ups that life throws you and may I also add relaxed for exactly the same reason. Understanding and kind because you need to see life through the eyes of others just to be able to respect them and only because seeing people through just your own vision can harden the heart. Passion is the breath of fresh air for the overcrowded life.

To see anything, to see through anything and understand and comprehend something you need information. You need to be able to collect detailed information before you can even begin to analyse and understand and that my friend is through observation.

Fulfilment, however is the one temperament that seems to me like the key to happiness. If your material objects don’t ‘fulfil’ your desires, you want more and more often than most this can affect ones self-confidence. If the your desire for an emotion is not fulfilled more than most you feel under-confident as you tend to blame yourself. It is easy to oversee what you have hand when chasing desires. Fulfilment is another version of acceptance, a more dangerous notion if neglected. I have met people so greedy for more that they have never considering to stop and look at what they are losing.

Its simple, as we make ourselves through our experiences and try to ‘add’ to ourselves by raising our limits we fail to see that the experiences of other people tends to be the addition we desire. The more we want to be like others we look upon their experiences and create for ourselves. No matter how wrong it may seem it is unavoidable and it is the kind of thing that people forget to mention at the dinner table.


About An Addled Moment

I came to Istanbul to discover not only this beautiful city and its nightlife but I’m also here to discover me.
This entry was posted in Being Human, Life, People and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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