Emailing a friend last night, I realised that some emotions have a time and place. From loneliness to being happy, you have a period in which it must be lived. London is very empty this year and no matter how much I wanted to be here this summer, it has been proved that company it of utmost importance.
My lovely brother and his girlfriend are missed in the house, my daily routine of work and play and the absence of money are also deeply missed too.
Nonetheless, I am hopeful my dear friends. Adamant that I will find entertainment, I took 2 friends, who were ripped out the heart of Istanbul and are now here to learn English, for a midnight stroll around the streets of Angel in Islington late last night. We ended up setting camp on a quiet little canal bank, just off the side of City Road. We brought tea from a McDonald’s drive-through and walked to this secluded little water bank. Thanking god again for technology we listened to music using our very smart phones and discussed my poor friends heightened libido. Poor sod. Conversation flowed easily between us foreigners.
The fraction of sanity we had left was crushed when a bunch of to-cool-for-school type drunk young adults who started playing about by the water. We called it home time and left. I’ve probably done it too, but when will ‘Even though, I don’t know my face from my arse, I can walk up to the water front and be silly’ game ever get out dated? I think I was too sober while witnessing the whole thing.
The consistency of feeling of bored is sort of getting to my head I think, so I, trying to be a daredevil, am booking life coaching courses, bum, tum and thigh toning classes and going swimming. Even though it’s slightly boring when you look around you to share a joke about the ridiculous comment the random freak just rudely made and there’s actually no-one left in the country to share it with. I am hanging in there though, as I know very well that my current emotional state can’t handle anything else to be honest.
As 28 is creeping up on me in 4 days time, I know that unless I feed my mind, body and soul with anything else (including alcohol), I will only become very observant and critical of myself. Damn you, package holidays for taking away my friends. I’m waving my index and middle finger at the imaginary ‘package-holiday’ figure standing in front me while typing this by the way.
In the hustle and bustle of random-ness, laziness and boredom, I have figured out that everyone really and truly needs a partner in crime. This is anything from matching finances to favourite past-times, otherwise when people you call friends are wearing thin you can’t not avoid short served friendships. Saying that, the only thing that makes an experience worthwhile is the company in which you do it with and short served are never there later on in life reminisce with you.
Coming home to London, I have had the opportunity for many new-beginnings but they seem to prove worthless if I don’t have the right people around to share it with. Among everyone I have met in the different stages of my life, I have always met that one special friend that stays in my life. Hence, as meeting people gets harder and older ones move on and mould into the human beings they have wanted to be, socials tend to dissolve into cups of coffees and pleasantries.
My most consistent emotion during this stage of my life loneliness, my most content feeling is hope and anyway if all else fails, I can always just go for a midnight stroll.